Everybody wants companionship. Those who deny it are in denial of a God given desire. Adam was made in the image of God. Then Eve hit the scene. When they became one flesh, they had returned to the full image of God. We too have a desire to return to the full image of God by becoming one with our spouse. In this (different) blog, I am going to get to the heart of the matter and answer some questions that have kept many humans awake at night.
Is there such a thing as “the one”? Yes. His name is Jesus. In context to this topic, outside of marriage, I don’t believe so. When you enter into a marriage covenant, then, yes, that person is the only one. Sound strange? Maybe. But once you're in it, you're in it. There is no plan B. Make sure you love the person and understand this bit of revelation: You will spend the rest of your life with them and must reconcile your differences-oh my!
Too many couples are miserable in their first year of marriage. Here are some things to help avoid misery.
Move out of your parents’ house. Husbands, sacrifice some things you love in order to spend more time with your wife. Wives, leave the parents out of the picture so your husband can get to know you. Fly far, far away from the nest if that’s what it takes.
Budget effectively. There’s no formula to this but wisdom is required in order to budget successfully. As you budget, give your first fruits, tithes and offerings unto God. He will multiply it back.
Don’t leave the other person behind. If you travel, or have a ministry, do it together. Recognize, nurture, protect, defend, and charge the call of God on your spouse’s life if it’s the death of you. Too many ministers travel abroad as half a person.
Date and rest together. Do not ware yourselves out, even if it is doing the Lord’s work. Set an example for younger generations to see that you cannot exhaust yourself with ministry.
Keeli and I hosted the worship team at our house every Tuesday night. Being a college student means late nights, no curfew, and countless energy. Late one worship night, I approached my friend and said,
“When I married Keeli, certain things changed. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
I didn’t say it out of rudeness but out of love. Not just love for my wife, but for the students. They will have spouse of their own one day and need to see a husband set a good example of purposing to spend time with his wife. Such standards get ingrained and woven into their desires for good mates. Ever since, our friend has kept a close eye on the clock and, before the hour gets too late, he’ll begin packing everyone’s instruments and gear. With everyone’s attention, he cheerfully reminds them,
“When Keeli and Jonathan got married, things changed. It’s time for us to go!”
I have heard the tired tale of wanting to stay single so that one day they can be martyred for the Lord. While this can spark a new topic on the purposes of God and His desire for us to have life in abundance, long and fruitful, He said it was not good for man to be alone.
An instant deposit of favor is given to a man who finds a wife. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. Since being married, greater opportunities and more open doors have been presented before us. It’s favor from Jesus!
In closing, one item that I want to be addressed is mixing the prophetic and relationships. I have seen the prophetic abused too often when dealing with relationships. The root of this is idolatry. When people pray and see that special person’s face they tend to believe the Lord is speaking to them. It can end in heartache when the discovery is made that the person does not feel the same way. Remember, love between two people is what it is… between two people. Effective love is not a one way street. Love towards one person that is not returned hurts and God’s heart is for ours not to be broken.
God loves marriage and we want to see fruitful marriages that multiply the kingdom of God around the world!